Holy Conviction

So last night our team was at a youth group for the third Friday in a row. The first Friday was a day we played games and hung out with the youth there as well as sharing testimonies about things like Gods provision in getting to Latvia and other things that had happened over DTS already. The second was speaking more about missions and the crazy things that have happened since we have been here as well as how missions is where ever you are, not just in a foreign country. I unfortunately didn't learn that when I was home, but I get that now. So last night was speaking to more youth as well as local youth leaders. So one of the girls on our team gave a word and we went on a prayer walk with them and had worship.

I did not know that I would ever miss worship so much! Most of the time when we have worship it has been our team leading it out. So even though I did not ever play on the worship band I would think about what we had to do next or how something had to go. It was such HUGE blessing to just worship and hear God and not worry about anything but spending time in worship with my father. So when I took the time to hear Him I feel like I instantly heard him. I was convicted by the parable of the talents in Matthew 26. It is when the master gives 5 talents to one servant, who doubles it, then 2 talents to another, who also doubles it, and one talent to the last. The last servant says in verse 24 "I knew that you are a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown...(v.25) So I was afraid and hid your talent in the ground. See, here is what belongs to you."

Then the master responds with "'You wicked, lazy servant! So you knew that I harvest where I have not sown and gather where I have not scattered seed... Take the talent from him and give it to the one who has the ten talents. For everyone who has will be given more, and he will have and abundance. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him. And throw that worthless servant outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth."

Latvia had been good to us. We can speak English with most people, have had our whole time just scheduled for us so we never struggle with what to do, and we do stuff like go to malls and coffee shops. Sometimes it feels like home but with more beautiful buildings. I feel like I have grown heaps with God personally and have such an amazing relationship with him now. I also feel like I have not pushed myself in ministry. I can go and just play with the kids and just go up say my piece and sit down.

God gave me the gift of eternal life, against what his nature says. He got to to my DTS, then to my outreach. Then I get here and I feel like its been successful because I haven't taken a sick day and pushed through some personal stuff, but avoided talking to people much. What a selfish lazy servant I have been. I hid my treasure for myself, just me and my best friend.

I came to Latvia to go on a mission trip, and to share Gods love and joy with people who need him. I think I have done that through works, but not by seeking them and loving them. Then they played "Hosanna"and that is my heart cry! Open my eyes to the things unseen, show me how to love like you love me, break my heart for what breaks yours. Hosanna, Hosanna, Hosanna in the highest! Hosanna means "save" and Lord do I need your grace and power to save me from myself.  I know I will have heaps of opportunities to be pushed when we are in Moldova, we leave Sunday night! The only ministry we have heard about is working with disables children and running some kind of seminar for single moms. I am super uncomfortable around a lot of kids... Weird I know but it's not my shin dig.

Thank you God for your grace! I am now aware of this and I want to please the Lord above all else.


In other news... I'm not good at transitions. Here is a LINK to a video update from our team in Latvia!

Heaps about outreach and my BIRTHDAY!

I Don't really know how to write this. The reason being I love Latvia and this outreach so much I don't know where to start. I am in love with the beauty and just pure awesomeness of Riga, to loving hospitality of the people, and how incredibly huge God moves and blesses his people!

I don't know if I should just share the incredible life experiences I have been lucky enough to have or craziness that the Lord pours out. Well the second is the good answer.... so that one?

The ministry we have been doing the most is prayer walking, and during this time my understanding of prayer has changed. We mainly do prayer walks in this neighborhood with a bad reputation, and it is totally warranted, they have drug dealing and prostitutes. We go there every Tuesday and Thursday. We also pray for some of the YWAM Riga girls as they reach out to the prostitutes. It is such a hard area to reach people in and from our share back time at the end of the night I know our prayers were moving things. There is this one moment which I don't think I will ever forget. At least I hope I don't I want to keep that urgency in my passion forever. As we walk around these neighborhood we pray for the girls we pass by, but for the most part it is kind of hard to tell which is a girl working and which isn't. One of these nights Manuela said something to challenge us, to picture one of these girls standing on the street cold and strung out as out best friend. That makes it a bit easier to pray for them. I pray they find people who desire more for their lives even when they feel like they don't deserve it. It actually got a lot more intense for me after this. As we turned around at the end of our route we saw a girl for a second time. A car pulled up beside her, honked twice, and she got in the car. We all wanted to just yell and tell her no, that she deserves so much better in life. She would just be out looking for another John an hour later if we stopped her. I have never had more panic in my spirit before. Manuela was able to give this guilt and sadness to the Lord, because he doesn't desire for us to live with the heaviness. I on the other hand struggle a lot, even still. While I was in Australia we watched heaps of human trafficking movies, and wow are they intense (for example the TV movie "Human Trafficking"). This moment showed me that it is not just a movie plot, she is a daughter of the most high who is fed so many lies from the enemy that she doesn't see the gem that she is.

The first week and a half of outreach was a lot of this heaviness for me, really hard but I would not rather do anything else. This is the place to be. We went to a small city on the coast called Ventspils and it was just a time filled with joy, and I deeply needed that.

We were there 5 days and we went nonstop, we didn't have a day off for about 10 days by the end. But again I have to say I would not have wanted to miss out on anything if it meant that I have to take away something I did there. In Ventspils we spoke in churches, youth groups and church meetings, went to an orphanage, old person home, and we did human trafficking prevention programs in schools. Gosh I just want to share in so much detail all we did because it was such a dream. God moved SO in this time. I am in awe of this week. Well this is the easiest and quickest description I can give. The churches of this area made me so proud to serve the same Lord with them, they are so unashamed to ask to be blessed that it made me remember how easy it is to bless someone. We spoke at sooooo many church things but always after ward the pastor and people would come up to us so thankful and just wanting to thank us so much. I mean we are a bunch of 20 somethings and we really haven't seen things like these people. They lived in Soviet occupation, they have only had freedom for 21 years. But they still come up to me thanking me for the words God gave me. We usually didn't know what our involvement would be before we got to whatever event it was. A great example is we went to a meeting and we knew they wanted us to share testimonies, we got there they played 2 worship songs then asked us to start. We are all thinking "start what?" This is when the Holy Spirit has lead us because we all talked about things that intertwined on accident! 

The orphanage was for kids who had to be taken from their families for safety reasons. They just wanted someone to be with and be treated like a kid with, to just act silly! They have to take care of themselves and in most cases each other that they just want to be a chatty 13 year old, a ticklish 5 year old, and an immature 18 year old. They deserve that. We only spent 2 afternoons with them, but it was so hard to leave knowing that it would go back to "normal" tomorrow for them. The old folks home is actually in the same building. I shared a testimony with them and right when I had finished speaking an old man stood up and said he appreciated knowing that he wasn't the only one who felt that way about something, so special. These people have seen suffering because it was around them. I haven't seen much and it is just because I sought it out. We had amazing amounts of prayer for them and they all wanted prayer! They wanted us to pray for them again and again. From when we asked they weren't even really believers!! This is such an insufficient explanation of the situation but again Manuela comes in with the win. She prayed for this ladies eyes, she said they didn't get any better but her arm, which she explained was broken  had no more pain. Manu prays for her eyes again and this time she says she can see better! The next time she sees her that she can see so much better! What the heck, she was receiving healing! 

So lastly I went and did school programs one day, we all rotated through all these ministries. We start by saying that we are from an international organization that is very interested in Latvian youth, that we want to pay for them to get a better education. We talk up this 6 week program say that there are a lot of forms and paperwork but we are experienced and want to take care of it for them. All they need to do is say yes. We ask for hands and choose one boy and one girl. We tie up their hands and we say how the boy was trafficked into working in a factory for 12-16 hrs a day with little to no pay, and the girl was sold to a brothel. They do this because this is exactly how people pray on the kids. They just want an opportunity to live larger than they are. This is all done with Freedom 61 which is a YWAM Riga ministry, they are also the ones who go and speak to the prostitutes and love them. At the end of the last session though a guy walks up to Haley and I and says he is really happy that someone is doing a program like this because it is so needed, and no one wants to fill it. He also said that he felt like it was meant just for him! He was going on a long term trip to London to work as well as somewhere else and that he learned a lot. Hearing this made me a bit nervous so after we had chatted for a bit I asked to pray for him. I prayed for protection and that Gods glory just shine during his trip. Afterwards he,again, was so stinking thankful! What the heck Latvia your people are too nice. He didn't say if he is a Christian or not but he was so happy to have the consideration. I think this has been something that I have been meditating on a lot. How people here believe in the power of prayer even if they aren't believers but the American church doesn't. Sorry that's harsh but true. No one goes to the front for prayer unless its a huge like crisis, or expect much change from just a prayer. Time after time people are so stoked just to be poured into. I love them so much

Oh gosh I am sorry how long this is, but so much has happened. I just want to share about my birthday. We were in Ventspils on my birthday, and I was pretty sad about it. I wasn't with my friends from back home and I have often worried that being a missionary means being very lonely  You don't have your home friends and how can you connect with people so different from yourself? Well we had a final worship night and farewell thing at the Roma church (gypsy church, but I understand that gypsy us derogatory) and we invited youth that we have connected with, pastors at the churches we spoke in, and other people we had gotten to know. Surprising how many of them there are for how long we were there. Oh dear I have to mention something about the youth before I move one!!!!! Yikes sorry rabbit hole. OK the youth group just puts on these incredible spirit filled night of worship of their own planning. So incredible people of Christ. But they are also so much fun! One night they invited us for a homemade pizza party, then they showed us all these YouTube videos they have mad which were hilarious. I am just beyond touched by how loving, open hearted, outpouring, and hospitable they were along with everyone else! So many people sacrificed so much for us that week. Anyways back to my birthday =) So a girl named Laima gave me a box of Latvian chocolates that actually has the same name as her and a card. Woah God showed me I would never be alone or forgotten no matter where he took me. I knew these people for 5 days or less. Then I shared a testimony with the church and my birthday was related so they cheered and said nice things to me right there and then. After the worship they did the thing where they lifted me in a chair 21 times for my age. Also one of the church ladies gave me her braclette as a gift! My heart was so warmed by them! Gosh I seriously don't know how to express how amazing this all has been!

So to finish up I will try to just do a list type thing of things we are doing: I gave a sermon at church on Sunday, we are running a youth group for the next 3 weeks I am running this weeks with 2 more teammates, we are helping at the YWAM European Leaders Gathering and get to mingle with them and attend sessions (so blessed!), more prayer walks(!), and doing more church services.

Phew I hope this was alright. I literally cannot take more out haha. God is so friggin powerful and loving and amazing! God bless you, and i hope you see more of His glory in your life. He is there and blesses you so much, just open your eyes to it. Jus' sayin' ;)