Born to be a Nomad

I don't think many people know this about me, becuase I don't advertise it all over the place, but I was born in South Africa. I don't feel like I'm from an immigrant family because I have lived in the States since I was two. I remember growing up thinking of people who didnt have American parents, that it must have been so interesting to live in their house! I didn't really realize I was one of those people until probably middle school. I am a South African because I was born into that, but I have lived in America for 90% of my life.

I still feel I am absolutely more American than South African. Even though it would be more exciting to be South African, but having like 2 memories of the place kind of says I was more of a visitor than a citizen. But that is my heritage, I don't know anything about what it looks like or how it is different from America, I suppose it's more like Australia than here. I don't know. But I so badly want to see where I am from one day.

By the same thinking I get stuck on earthly logic, my eternal citizenship is in heaven, but I have spent so much time on earth I don't know how to actively associate my thoughts and life with where my real citizenship is. I know heaven will be different but I don't know if it will be all fluffy white clouds or a place like earth just jacked up. You know with vivid colors and euphoria oozing, sounds kind of like something you would experience on ecstasy, but I have heard a theory describing heaven that way. I know my actions should reflect that I belong in Heaven and in the Body of Christ, especially lately I have forgotten how to do that. I have let doubt and fear keep me from Gods will. Decisions that benefit my present life are a whole lot easier than ones that will reflect on my eternity.

God has asked me to staff a Compassion DTS (discipleship training school) this October and because of my fear I have not really followed His leading. Whenever someone I care about comes along with doubts or questions I think, "crap, they are right this is crazy and unwise, who fund raises for a year of missions in less than 6 months?" Then I would question and doubt and float around and feel frustrated with God for a while. Later something awakens that desire to staff this school again in my heart. I then begin to tell people in my life about my plans to staff a DTS then serve on the YWAM base for the other 6 months of the year, I hear their doubts and worries and I then think "this is even more dumb, I am fundraising for a year in a month!" This is my cycle, but the length of time keeps getting shorter. Being able to spend time with and speak into the lives of middle and high schoolers reminded me that God had specifically spoken discipling over the next season of my life. And I delight in what He has next for me!!!

This cycle has happened about 4 or 5 times this summer. I have gotten a lot of prayer and wisdom from a lot of pastors and spiritual leaders in my life and it began to confuse me a lot. I didn't know what God was speaking to me anymore because I had so many opinions pushing God back in my head. When I boil it down to the simplest the peace I feel is to staff this school this October. I am passionate about the purpose of the school and about the students. I think it was wise to ask for help and different views and it has made me think outside of my own box. I am so grateful for that but I know I am meant and called to this school.

My citizenship is in heaven, and I can cast my earthly worries to Christ, the best I can at least. 

I feel God has specifically and purposefully called me to staff this school coming up. I prayed about going to cheaper or closer YWAM bases, but this is the one. I am meant to be a part of that community and be in the lives of the 29 accepted, womens lives in the school. I know it sounds reckless and naive to make the decision to go staff this school when I would have to leave any time now. I regret that deeply but my indecisiveness doesn't change Gods call. I still need to go.

I know I could upset people by not setting more of my own money towards my expenses as I would have if I stayed, but staying isn't where I feel peace. Someone was saying to me starting ministry is like birthing a baby. Too early and it might die or have problems, too late and it will hurt, but if it's the right time its glorious. This is the right time. I hope and pray God provides me with the wisdom and knowledge to do this the best I can but I am human. A sinner and totally broken. 

I am taking the steps that I think will bring me closer to Jesus and that means they won't always make earthly sense. 

As a staff on a Discipleship Training School I have a discipling role, not a teaching one. As a staff team we split up the students so we each have 4-5 students each that we meet with on a weekly basis to see how they are doing processing everything that happens on a DTS and encourage them and pray for them. There are also times during the week that I may lead out like school intercession or evangelism or something like that. That will happen when the staff team is all together and we see who fits where. Another major role I will have is leading or co-leading an outreach team in January. 

On my DTS I went to Eastern Europe from January until the beginning of March and this time around I will lead a team during the same time. That means preparing ministry and talking to contacts before and planning while in Australia, then connecting with contacts and translators while abroad. Basically just facilitating what our team needs to do and hugely praying for our team and making sure we don't burn out and we continue to love God, one another, and the nations. 

I will leave for Australia when I am about 50% funded, so basically tomorrow if God provides a miracle =) So far I have my $850 plane ticket paid for! AWESOME!!!!

My monthly costs is $470 and outreach will be $5000. So I am hoping to have monthly supporters totaling $235/month and $2500 towards outreach before I leave

It would be such a gift to have you pray for me as I begin this difficult, long, and amazing journey as a missionary. I would also like to ask you to pray about partnering with me to see the kingdom come by financial gifts either monthly or one time. I always say it, but nothing is too little and everything helps. 

God Bless you and I will continue to update with emails and this blog about how God is moving through these young girls lives and the people that we touch. 

Week 2 of Denver Outreach

This is the second week of teaching 5 Day Clubs. I feel so honored to do what I do.

I didn't really want to go this Monday morning, I was feeling really run down by negative thoughts and concerns about being a missionary in Australia for a year. I felt run over by people I really love and didn't want to serve God that day when I didn't feel protected by Him. This didn't last long for a couple of reasons.

One. Kids live out of joy, generally, something makes them sad they sit to the side and after a little pout they are right as rain again. They love to be with you because you are there. I don't have to do anything besides play tag with them, but I get the awesome chance to go deeper with them and share the love of Jesus with them.
Two. When I take the effort to forget about myself and do what I am asked to do God usually brings me joy as a gift, or that's the way I like to look at it. I don't think I ever took a second to say ok now I will be happy with my happy face and do a great job. I just started and receiving love from kids and then feeling Gods love through what my team was teaching.
Three. I feel privileged to have the option to tell these kids about God, them and their families are modern day heroes.

I'll explain three a bit more. I am referring to one club in particular. I will try and make it as nondescript as I can. I don't know the privacy stuff too well. Anyways. This one club is for displaced families. I don't know most of their stories but they are from all over, Asia, Eastern Europe, and the Middle East. Our host told me one of the families had been in America for 3 months, they were previously missionaries in a closed country. They experienced persecution and even having their house burnt down. I don't know if the house was the catalyst to move or something that happened right before they left but either way that is real suffering for the name of Jesus.

I was feeling sorry for myself that not everyone was giving me a pat on the back for wanting to be a missionary in Australia. This family has left all they know to find peace and refuge in a crooked and depraved generation. They shine like stars in the universe and they humble me immeasurably.

Today after club their father, I assume, came by to pick them up. I felt so honored to know his children and be around someone who must have fought for the gospel like him. I so badly wanted to introduce myself and say something, I don't know what, to him but I chickened out. I felt like I was meeting a celebrity. Cotton mouthed and I was too ashamed to actually go up to this warrior of the faith. I am inspired by the tenacity and grace he must have and all that he and his family must go through. I am humbled and reminded that I am just a servant of God and I want to give all my rights to Him. The ones that say I can have a pity party and expect to get what I see others have.

Thinking about this so much moves me to quietness and contemplation and reverence. Thanks be to God that he has blessed me with so much. I appreciate my family for all their sacrifices and love. I am so blessed.

I love childrens ministry! Really, I do!

So my tire exploded this week on my way to work. Previously, when I have seen bits of a tire scattered on the highway I imagined that being a horrifying experience. Beginning with a loud bang then a car ricocheting back and forth on the road. Maybe a flip or two. So I don't know what it normally is like, but it was anticlimactic for me. It was just loud, then I pulled over an I noticed my tire was in many pieces. Huh.

Like I said I was driving to work. I think it was probably Satan keeping me from the best day I've had since I've been home.

My young team mate Kali teaching a bible story in one of our clubs!

My job is taking middle and high schoolers around our fair city to, basically, teach traveling VBS's. Students are being equipped and sent out to share the gospel with the young'ins! On my team there are 3 of us, a 17 yr old and a 13 yr old and me. We go to 3 clubs a day in some rough areas of Denver. You can find more info in the CEF Summer Missions Page about my summer internship.

Yesterday was our first day with our clubs, and at our 2nd club the kids were totally too cool to participate. We sang our opening song by ourselves, they didn't even do the simple clapping with us. So I felt kind of like a fool and yeah discouraged. But our second day was the opposite! The first thing they said to me when we got there was "can we sing that song?!" Well that's an awesome foot to start on, and yup I could feel the Spirit there with us. They were interested and animated and participating. Nine of the kids attending that club gave their life to Christ that day. After they prayed they came over to me to tell me the good news and get a high five. Wow do we serve the best God, and it brings tears to my eyes.

I was reminded of how important this mission was on our third day. To me thinking of doing these clubs with kids didn't seem to important to me. It seemed like shooting fish in a barrel, to have kids give their life to Jesus. You tell them that you can live in heaven forever after you die and heaven has streets of gold and why wouldn't they say yes to praying to accept Jesus? I knew it was a noble thing to do, to tell kids about Jesus, but is it really impactful? I mean there is a major world evangelist who was "saved" in a CEF ministry! I also felt the necessity on this day.

On the third day of our clubs there was something that really illustrated this to me. We meet in the courtyard of an apartment complex, during the missionary story two cops with bullet proof vests came in and pounded on most of the doors, later I heard lots of yelling but I don't know what else really happened. These kids see this all the time and have been through so much already. I just see their sweet faces, clinging the the bits of innocence and the flashes of child likeness that they still have. Gosh what else is there to do but love them as much as I can and pray.

I just sure hope that they are touched, changed even, by this week we have with them sharing the love of Jesus.

I have the best job ever.

 Before this week I was nervous and not confident in my skills to be around kids so much. I am reminded of the verse Philippians 1:6

 "being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."

Both in that God has done good work through me this week, and great work has been started in these kids. I have so much hope for their future with God.


Would you please pray for me, my team, and the others doing clubs in other parts of the city, the kids we meet, and their families.

I have the rest of this week plus one week of clubs in new areas, so I will continue to write about this!

thanks your the best.

Endings? Nope Change

I have been blessed by incredible giving and sacrificial people, like you, who gave financially towards my DTS trip. I then traveled to Australia to learn more about our incredible God with 30 something people. I learned to live closely with 100 sum odd people in Lewis House and even closer with 9 special girls. After three months in Australia I traveled to Eastern Europe to witness the wonders of God’s love and the miraculous power of prayer. Now I have been home for 5 days and I could not miss it more. 

I look back on the last six months with nothing but positive memories. Thank you Lord for calling me to that, and I cannot thank all my supporters enough. You made a dream come true for one girl who felt lost and directionless. By supporting me as you all did, you allowed for me to be changed in how I see God and relationship with Him. Jesus is the Lord over my life, I go where he asks me to go, and I seek his counsel on most things, and I feel significant to Him. Like Jeremiah 29:11 says, He has great desires for me and things to bring me joy--not hardship.

I am writing this, trying to think of some sort of closure or significant thought that wraps this journey up, but I can't think of anything. Well, I guess nothing that seems eloquent or all encompassing enough. A few feeble attempts:

-God has big plans for me, He just had to get me away from the white noise of the busy western culture in order to get my full attention and have me listen for once. Now I know he desires great things for me, which give me joy, and bring him glory. 

-God is a miraculous God who moves mountains to see that we are taken care of, who makes huge promises to show us how miraculous He really is. We just doubt the promises because of broken ones from humans that we are too fearful to trust our eternal father, the one who created the earth and the endless heavens, who created every tid bit of all of nature. When he promises $10,000 that is nothing to Him! We just need to allow His glory to shine!

"Fulfill your promise to your servant, so that you may be feared." Psalm 119:38

-Prayer is world changing. There is so much crap in this world that we as individual human being have no power to stop or change at all. God is waiting for us to ask for His help and action. He has to capacity to fix all evil, obviously, but he loves us so much he gave us the free will to do what we want—good or evil. He waits patiently for our invitation and won't just barge in on a situation. I know now that when something is bothering me, big or small, if I pray and intercede for it God will move. He answers prayer. 

My Outreach team at our "graduation" or commissioning 

Also the idea of a YWAM base seems more extraordinary now that

Tim Tam slams and community time in the Dining Room

 I am not there, but how incredible is that!!! God gives each one of the people living there the specific calling to do YWAM and go to that base for x amount of time. It is a house full of 20 somethings (usually, but not explicitly) living as missionaries depending on God for financial provision,  influencing a western culture most of the time, and leading young people on missions for another part of the year. The lesser time is spent in "traditional missions" and the rest is on influencing the modern young generation. Is it just me or is that mind blowing? Normal people who grew up in "normal" ways that still do normal things and act normal but are full time missionaries. Humph. When I ponder this I just picture the dining room and see young guys and girls who don't seem home schooled like or churchy or weird. Normal people that you see everywhere. But they are living on the Lord’s provision and leading. They live to further the gospel solely, just in different ways. Pretty neat!

For the combination of the above things and through prayer and time spent with God, I know I am called to go back to Newcastle Australia. Since I have been back I have absolutely enjoyed it, and I appreciate it so much! At the same time I feel like a visitor. It doesn't feel right to find my routine and settle here a bit. I am following the peace I feel, and that leads back to YWAM Newie. I considered doing YWAM at the base that is about 45 minutes away from my house but that doesn't feel right either. It's just me trying to rationalize Gods call, again.

Back to Lewis House!

As of right now I just have a small idea of what all this will look like. I will go back to staff the Compassion DTS in October, the same one I did a year earlier, and staff at the base for the other 6 months of the year. That means meeting with my few students to help them in whatever way I can, and grade their assignments and such, then go on outreach as staff with the students. The same setup as what I just did but more leadership and stepping out! The second six months are a bit more foggy, I just want to be in that community for that time I am not sure what job I will play there. It is kind of nerve wracking going back into fundraising mode, but what the heck-- God provided last time he will this time too. He has asked for me to go and He will provide. I will not worry.

So I will continue to post blogs about the lead up and I will blog while I am there. Now I need to change my blog name =)

And coincidentally places like this ;)

Moldova

The purple bit is Cahul, and Chisinau is the capitol.

I am back in Newcatsle Australia for a week of debrief and seeing everyone for one last time. I am obviously jet lagged because it is 2:08 AM in Aus, but I never blog so when is a better time?

Our team was in Riga for 4 weeks total and then we went to Cahul, Moldova for two weeks. 

We arrived in Moldova at 1:00 AM and had a 3 hour bus ride down the bumpiest roads I have ever been on and arrived in the 5th largest city in the country that had no street lighting. It seemed sketch for sure. We just recovered that day and started ministry the day after.

When we went out and walked around and it was pretty obvious we weren't in Kansas anymore. Everything was just in shambles, the roads and sidewalks had so many huge potholes that it looked like the remnants of a bombing. All the building are plain and cementy, usually in disarray. We stood out like a sore thumb there. We were lighter and wore different clothes and were always stared at wherever we went. We, as a team, entered into a lot of spiritual warfare here.

We were very used to Riga. A nice normal looking big city with people who were more fashionable than us and most people spoke english. In Moldova hardly anyone spoke english, which actually is more what you would expect for this kind of a trip but we were spoiled before. The two women who staff at that base were able to translate for us most of the time, but sometimes we split up too much, and the other translator? He was 14! Yeah my first ministry day they tell us we are teaching english to school kids. When we get to the van they tell us David will be our translator. The three of us look around and are confused because all we see is a kid who probably skipped school in the background. He turned out to be super mature for his age and a great person, sometimes he would just translate 4 words from 5 minutes of speaking, but he was great.

So yes, the village. It seemed like a lot of houses but there was no movement. We heard nothing and saw no people moving around. The roads were dirt and there were horse drawn wagons and wind up wells. 

Katie, Laura, and me

These kids were so eager to learn! They got their paper out and wrote down everything, participated and did really well. They were total champs about the whole thing! They still desire better things for themselves. They haven't had too many people try and bring them down. At the same time the stark reality of this village shook the thee of us. David had told us two of the girls are from a family of 9, with just one parent. I can only imagine what life must be like for them . People don't have excess there. They have what they worked hard for and cherish it. You can see how they decorated with a piece of styrofoam with color pencil writing on it on the back wall. They make do with what they have and choose to have joy for it. I never felt so American in my whole life until then. I was concerned when I saw there was no McDonalds, I was loud and obnoxious, and really put off by not having the perfect shower. The difference being we had a handheld nozzle so we had to turn it on and off to rinse off. We complained about this. Americans are used to nothing but comfort, and I feel super guilty about it.

I feel so blessed to have been given perspective, if nothing else, through this time. I appreciate my parents so much more. Not only was I privileged enough to grow up in a country without want and literally countless opportunities. My parents are strong enough and brave enough to have left their country to give me that upbringing. I was given double dose of awesome.

When I look back and try to think how to better describe it I can't. It is too much for words.

I was continually suprised by the people. We went to another village, and actually saw the Romanian border, to do a girls group. These girls look normal, fashionable clothes, styled hair, and make up but there is a squatty potty around the back. I imagine some asian village when I think of a squatty potty, not these women. We asked what they have been up to lately and they all said "working in the family garden." It was all just so bizarre and nothing made sense. I feel so friggin jumbled trying to make more sense of this.

Others on our team went to a disabled school to do crafts with them, visited a single mother support group, visited orphans in the hospital, spoke at churches, and gave sandwiches to the homeless. Our last night of ministry we did a girls night at the local church, Emmanuel, and shared about Gods vision for our lives. Laura and I were able to share testimonies about how God has called us and spoken vision over us. The girls asked a lot of questions and were really interested. One of the girls in particular was asking a lot of questions and shared a bit of her story. This, also, made me realize how privileged I am to be American. She felt called to missions but her dad had died and her mom had no one else. Her mom is not a christian and she was working so much in order to send her through college. She worried how she could deny that from her mom and say she needed to travel around the world to do something God had asked her. What the heck my life is so easy. I have been worried that all my friends back home have been getting engaged and moving, literally stressing about things being different. These people have real trials and teach me what it means to appreciate what God has gifted me with during this secondary life, and have given me hope to desire more of my actual life in heaven with my father.

Our ridiculous line of huge bags going to the bus stop. We all crammed into already pretty full busses! 

(credit for all photos Katie Bushman)

We had a few days in Riga doing some last prayer walks and goodbyes. Enjoying the city I have grown to love and consider some weird 3rd home, after Colorado and Lewis House. I truly love Riga, every bit of it and I will miss it. 

Holy Conviction

So last night our team was at a youth group for the third Friday in a row. The first Friday was a day we played games and hung out with the youth there as well as sharing testimonies about things like Gods provision in getting to Latvia and other things that had happened over DTS already. The second was speaking more about missions and the crazy things that have happened since we have been here as well as how missions is where ever you are, not just in a foreign country. I unfortunately didn't learn that when I was home, but I get that now. So last night was speaking to more youth as well as local youth leaders. So one of the girls on our team gave a word and we went on a prayer walk with them and had worship.

I did not know that I would ever miss worship so much! Most of the time when we have worship it has been our team leading it out. So even though I did not ever play on the worship band I would think about what we had to do next or how something had to go. It was such HUGE blessing to just worship and hear God and not worry about anything but spending time in worship with my father. So when I took the time to hear Him I feel like I instantly heard him. I was convicted by the parable of the talents in Matthew 26. It is when the master gives 5 talents to one servant, who doubles it, then 2 talents to another, who also doubles it, and one talent to the last. The last servant says in verse 24 "I knew that you are a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown...(v.25) So I was afraid and hid your talent in the ground. See, here is what belongs to you."

Then the master responds with "'You wicked, lazy servant! So you knew that I harvest where I have not sown and gather where I have not scattered seed... Take the talent from him and give it to the one who has the ten talents. For everyone who has will be given more, and he will have and abundance. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him. And throw that worthless servant outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth."

Latvia had been good to us. We can speak English with most people, have had our whole time just scheduled for us so we never struggle with what to do, and we do stuff like go to malls and coffee shops. Sometimes it feels like home but with more beautiful buildings. I feel like I have grown heaps with God personally and have such an amazing relationship with him now. I also feel like I have not pushed myself in ministry. I can go and just play with the kids and just go up say my piece and sit down.

God gave me the gift of eternal life, against what his nature says. He got to to my DTS, then to my outreach. Then I get here and I feel like its been successful because I haven't taken a sick day and pushed through some personal stuff, but avoided talking to people much. What a selfish lazy servant I have been. I hid my treasure for myself, just me and my best friend.

I came to Latvia to go on a mission trip, and to share Gods love and joy with people who need him. I think I have done that through works, but not by seeking them and loving them. Then they played "Hosanna"and that is my heart cry! Open my eyes to the things unseen, show me how to love like you love me, break my heart for what breaks yours. Hosanna, Hosanna, Hosanna in the highest! Hosanna means "save" and Lord do I need your grace and power to save me from myself.  I know I will have heaps of opportunities to be pushed when we are in Moldova, we leave Sunday night! The only ministry we have heard about is working with disables children and running some kind of seminar for single moms. I am super uncomfortable around a lot of kids... Weird I know but it's not my shin dig.

Thank you God for your grace! I am now aware of this and I want to please the Lord above all else.


In other news... I'm not good at transitions. Here is a LINK to a video update from our team in Latvia!

Heaps about outreach and my BIRTHDAY!

I Don't really know how to write this. The reason being I love Latvia and this outreach so much I don't know where to start. I am in love with the beauty and just pure awesomeness of Riga, to loving hospitality of the people, and how incredibly huge God moves and blesses his people!

I don't know if I should just share the incredible life experiences I have been lucky enough to have or craziness that the Lord pours out. Well the second is the good answer.... so that one?

The ministry we have been doing the most is prayer walking, and during this time my understanding of prayer has changed. We mainly do prayer walks in this neighborhood with a bad reputation, and it is totally warranted, they have drug dealing and prostitutes. We go there every Tuesday and Thursday. We also pray for some of the YWAM Riga girls as they reach out to the prostitutes. It is such a hard area to reach people in and from our share back time at the end of the night I know our prayers were moving things. There is this one moment which I don't think I will ever forget. At least I hope I don't I want to keep that urgency in my passion forever. As we walk around these neighborhood we pray for the girls we pass by, but for the most part it is kind of hard to tell which is a girl working and which isn't. One of these nights Manuela said something to challenge us, to picture one of these girls standing on the street cold and strung out as out best friend. That makes it a bit easier to pray for them. I pray they find people who desire more for their lives even when they feel like they don't deserve it. It actually got a lot more intense for me after this. As we turned around at the end of our route we saw a girl for a second time. A car pulled up beside her, honked twice, and she got in the car. We all wanted to just yell and tell her no, that she deserves so much better in life. She would just be out looking for another John an hour later if we stopped her. I have never had more panic in my spirit before. Manuela was able to give this guilt and sadness to the Lord, because he doesn't desire for us to live with the heaviness. I on the other hand struggle a lot, even still. While I was in Australia we watched heaps of human trafficking movies, and wow are they intense (for example the TV movie "Human Trafficking"). This moment showed me that it is not just a movie plot, she is a daughter of the most high who is fed so many lies from the enemy that she doesn't see the gem that she is.

The first week and a half of outreach was a lot of this heaviness for me, really hard but I would not rather do anything else. This is the place to be. We went to a small city on the coast called Ventspils and it was just a time filled with joy, and I deeply needed that.

We were there 5 days and we went nonstop, we didn't have a day off for about 10 days by the end. But again I have to say I would not have wanted to miss out on anything if it meant that I have to take away something I did there. In Ventspils we spoke in churches, youth groups and church meetings, went to an orphanage, old person home, and we did human trafficking prevention programs in schools. Gosh I just want to share in so much detail all we did because it was such a dream. God moved SO in this time. I am in awe of this week. Well this is the easiest and quickest description I can give. The churches of this area made me so proud to serve the same Lord with them, they are so unashamed to ask to be blessed that it made me remember how easy it is to bless someone. We spoke at sooooo many church things but always after ward the pastor and people would come up to us so thankful and just wanting to thank us so much. I mean we are a bunch of 20 somethings and we really haven't seen things like these people. They lived in Soviet occupation, they have only had freedom for 21 years. But they still come up to me thanking me for the words God gave me. We usually didn't know what our involvement would be before we got to whatever event it was. A great example is we went to a meeting and we knew they wanted us to share testimonies, we got there they played 2 worship songs then asked us to start. We are all thinking "start what?" This is when the Holy Spirit has lead us because we all talked about things that intertwined on accident! 

The orphanage was for kids who had to be taken from their families for safety reasons. They just wanted someone to be with and be treated like a kid with, to just act silly! They have to take care of themselves and in most cases each other that they just want to be a chatty 13 year old, a ticklish 5 year old, and an immature 18 year old. They deserve that. We only spent 2 afternoons with them, but it was so hard to leave knowing that it would go back to "normal" tomorrow for them. The old folks home is actually in the same building. I shared a testimony with them and right when I had finished speaking an old man stood up and said he appreciated knowing that he wasn't the only one who felt that way about something, so special. These people have seen suffering because it was around them. I haven't seen much and it is just because I sought it out. We had amazing amounts of prayer for them and they all wanted prayer! They wanted us to pray for them again and again. From when we asked they weren't even really believers!! This is such an insufficient explanation of the situation but again Manuela comes in with the win. She prayed for this ladies eyes, she said they didn't get any better but her arm, which she explained was broken  had no more pain. Manu prays for her eyes again and this time she says she can see better! The next time she sees her that she can see so much better! What the heck, she was receiving healing! 

So lastly I went and did school programs one day, we all rotated through all these ministries. We start by saying that we are from an international organization that is very interested in Latvian youth, that we want to pay for them to get a better education. We talk up this 6 week program say that there are a lot of forms and paperwork but we are experienced and want to take care of it for them. All they need to do is say yes. We ask for hands and choose one boy and one girl. We tie up their hands and we say how the boy was trafficked into working in a factory for 12-16 hrs a day with little to no pay, and the girl was sold to a brothel. They do this because this is exactly how people pray on the kids. They just want an opportunity to live larger than they are. This is all done with Freedom 61 which is a YWAM Riga ministry, they are also the ones who go and speak to the prostitutes and love them. At the end of the last session though a guy walks up to Haley and I and says he is really happy that someone is doing a program like this because it is so needed, and no one wants to fill it. He also said that he felt like it was meant just for him! He was going on a long term trip to London to work as well as somewhere else and that he learned a lot. Hearing this made me a bit nervous so after we had chatted for a bit I asked to pray for him. I prayed for protection and that Gods glory just shine during his trip. Afterwards he,again, was so stinking thankful! What the heck Latvia your people are too nice. He didn't say if he is a Christian or not but he was so happy to have the consideration. I think this has been something that I have been meditating on a lot. How people here believe in the power of prayer even if they aren't believers but the American church doesn't. Sorry that's harsh but true. No one goes to the front for prayer unless its a huge like crisis, or expect much change from just a prayer. Time after time people are so stoked just to be poured into. I love them so much

Oh gosh I am sorry how long this is, but so much has happened. I just want to share about my birthday. We were in Ventspils on my birthday, and I was pretty sad about it. I wasn't with my friends from back home and I have often worried that being a missionary means being very lonely  You don't have your home friends and how can you connect with people so different from yourself? Well we had a final worship night and farewell thing at the Roma church (gypsy church, but I understand that gypsy us derogatory) and we invited youth that we have connected with, pastors at the churches we spoke in, and other people we had gotten to know. Surprising how many of them there are for how long we were there. Oh dear I have to mention something about the youth before I move one!!!!! Yikes sorry rabbit hole. OK the youth group just puts on these incredible spirit filled night of worship of their own planning. So incredible people of Christ. But they are also so much fun! One night they invited us for a homemade pizza party, then they showed us all these YouTube videos they have mad which were hilarious. I am just beyond touched by how loving, open hearted, outpouring, and hospitable they were along with everyone else! So many people sacrificed so much for us that week. Anyways back to my birthday =) So a girl named Laima gave me a box of Latvian chocolates that actually has the same name as her and a card. Woah God showed me I would never be alone or forgotten no matter where he took me. I knew these people for 5 days or less. Then I shared a testimony with the church and my birthday was related so they cheered and said nice things to me right there and then. After the worship they did the thing where they lifted me in a chair 21 times for my age. Also one of the church ladies gave me her braclette as a gift! My heart was so warmed by them! Gosh I seriously don't know how to express how amazing this all has been!

So to finish up I will try to just do a list type thing of things we are doing: I gave a sermon at church on Sunday, we are running a youth group for the next 3 weeks I am running this weeks with 2 more teammates, we are helping at the YWAM European Leaders Gathering and get to mingle with them and attend sessions (so blessed!), more prayer walks(!), and doing more church services.

Phew I hope this was alright. I literally cannot take more out haha. God is so friggin powerful and loving and amazing! God bless you, and i hope you see more of His glory in your life. He is there and blesses you so much, just open your eyes to it. Jus' sayin' ;) 

All I Need Is $200!!

On Friday the 4th my outreach team left for Sydney to begin our outreach phase of DTS! The sad thing is I couldn't go with them. They are the people I have bonded with most so it was hard to have them leave, becuase I couldn't get my stinking money in! All of us have been anxiously waiting to go on outreach, get out of the house, and do Gods work, well they all got to do that. Meanwhile I was back at Newcastle utterly frustrated and confused. About two weeks ago when I found out that my team would be going to Sydney for a week I was really excited. I was the only one who hadn't yet been to the city and I would be able to go and just spend time there instead of just a day trip!

Noticing a common theme in my updates? I get really bitter about things often. But yes God always plans something better for me.

When I was praying about why I was in Newcaste still, in absolute frustration of being left behind as my team is out doing what WE all have been waiting to do, God was speaking that I need to find peace in situations that are not ideal. The world does not revolve around me and I cannot just sulk when things aren't as I like. I know God had me here to learn to appreciate what he is doing even if its not what I want to be doing.

I really struggled with being back at the base while my team was in Sydney. For one I was the only one who had not yet seen the city, and I felt like I was giving all of myself to God without Him providing for me. I was bitter, pissed, and really disapointed. I was staying back at Lewis house when I didn't want to, having to be out of my room. Oh right, new students were coming too. Lewis house has become a home away from home for me, and then all these new people come in, they live in my room and begin to get settled here. Weird at first. But I got over that.

So moral of the story I was not a happy camper with being in Newie still.

But Yesterday as I was doing outreach ministry with the team here I was determined to let it be Gods time, and do whatever he asks and not rob anything before it happened. Wow what a blessing! I don't even know why but I was just so happy to be doing these things, and I have become closer with the people on that team and I just had so much fun and felt so joyful.

That relaxed mood has translated to my weekend now, so far I have already watched 2 movies and I plan on watching more. Ya know that kind of weekend. I was just sitting checking my facebook and email talking to the people who I have spent the last couple days with and I said "I am glad I have been here." Literally the next second I looked over at my computer screen and one of my best friends said that her and her boyfriend together want to donate about $500 US dollars!!!! God had asked me to just be happy in what he sets before me, I had accepted that, then spoke it out and BAM there is his provision! I needed $847 AUD and I checked my account today and they said all I needed was $393 and I know of one other person planning on donating really soon. SOOOOO I do believe that I am somewhere between $200 and $100!!!!! WHAT?!?!?!

IT Is just so stinking dumb to doubt God! I worried for a total of 24 hrs, then accpeted that things arent't always great, let myself be joyful and not spiteful, and God was waiting to provide. Well Thank you so much Jesus. All I have left to say is Glory to God for being all he said he is. Just have a soft heart to what he wants to do then he will do it!

THANK YOU GOD

God is Really Neat

Today I was browsing through my facebook not because it is the new year and it makes sense to look back on the past year, but just because I was procrastinating. As I do my aimless reminiscing I began to see how much God loves me. All the things that just make my heart skip a beat, or maybe stop, and I just gotta crack a smile. At the time it is so easy to just take that gift that God has given for granted. I mean God deserves the credit and it was so Him just trying to bless me more, my Father wants me to be joyful and he does great things to make that happen! 

Today I am sitting alone trying to think of ways to continue fundraising in order to go to Latvia/Moldova so that's how I got to the procrastination, but I'm glad I did. I so easily forget all the amazing things God has done for me recently. For example on Dec 29th 2010 I posted "nothing like David Crowder band to make any day great!" because it is definitely my favorite worship band. Then on Oct 15th 2011 I got to go to the final Crowder Band concert, for free, and meet most of the artist including David Crowder Band. It happened by total luck. I know who was helping to put on their concert, so he asked if anyone wanted to work in merch. 

I got to high five them NBD..... I was too nervous to say words so I just creepily looked at them and held my hand up. I know, I have a way with words.

Later, when I got accepted to a DTS in Newcastle Australia, I felt how God wants to bless me with the desires of my heart in a big way. God had set going to a different country and doing a DTS on my heart for a long time and it was finally happening! God is great, thanks for being awesome! Well then I didn't go to do my DTS when I wanted to go and God was mean and spiteful. How easily I left all the amazing things God has done for me behind and just sat in self pity because I didn't get what I want when I wanted it. So I was in a really negative place for quite a while. But of course God had a way better plan than I ever did, but in the mean time he gave me a pick me up. At the time I didn't know it would be so influential for me, I thought it was just a job. 

I read another post that says " ahhhhhhhhhh i just got the best job ever!!!!! props God, props," and at the time I felt like I hit the job jackpot! I went from sales clerk at a regular kids store to a keyholder at a nice store on a quirky street mall. BLAM, hot dang was God good again. I had a job in a new town, making way better money than I ever had before, and actually working decent hours, and given real responsibility. All these things gave me some umph and I wasn't able to just pity myself all the time. Thank you God for getting me into a bit of the real world! Only a little bit, but still it was glorious! 


Later I read the day I totally committed to doing YWAM, I just deferred to another start time, I said "i feel like im bursting with joy and excitement with God! IM GOING TO AUSTRALIA." Before I was scared to committ because if I didn't let anyone know then they also wouldn't know when I failed. That could make things easier! On that day I was going to fund raise and work my butt off knowing that God had called me to do this!

This is when I bought my plane ticket. I feel like that was a big deal. Just soak that in. From this day forward I had to get my funds in. Kind of no turning back. 

This is me with my cousin in Australia. I never knew her and pretty much never met any of my extended family because they live all over the world. I spent a week with her and her family, and my other cousins, and some more family for a week before heading south to Newcastle for DTS. One of those days we had a lunch with my brother(stroke of luck he planned his vaca for the same time), my aunt, uncle(who I had yet to meet), and my two cousins and their families. I had been to a family gathering like that before and it was a wonderful miracle for my heart.

This is my school! October Compassion DTS, 21 girls and one guy. Great dynamics. Getting here was amazing and I totally freaked out when I got on the plane. At that point I realized I was leaving home to go to weird people and places. But how God provided was so cool to see. It mainly came from college age kids, people who don't have steady income, and heaps of debt. That makes you feel loved!

These are my roommates, and people who I treasure so much and will never forget. They will be world changers, guaranteed. 

We had 13 weeks of amazing lectures, and blessed with experienced and inspiring speakers who live book worthy lives! It has been hard to process all this, but I figure if I just write everything down then I can just do like a bible study for a long long time with them.

I had thanksgiving and Christmas with them. With a bunch of misfit nomads. On Christmas eve we all just sat around in the sticky heat just having fun. I personally sat and made fart noises for I don't know how long. No better way to spend the holidays. 

This is just a photo to show we have fun. Lots and lots of fun. 

I did go and hang out with oodles of kangaroos. Such a highlight!!!

I just throw this in to show how amazing it is here.

So I can't believe how ridiculously amazing God is. I didn't just get to come and start a DTS, I got to fulfill a life long dream of meeting and hanging out with family. Then God blessed me even more with friendships that I really could not have hoped for here. DTS friendships will be different from any other and it's amazing. I think that sometime in the future books will come out, become amazing sellers, and I will be able to think to myself "that person spoke during my school and prophesied over me." Pretty legit.

So recently I have been sad, worrying, and grumpy about needing money to go on my DTS outreach to Latvia and Moldova to minister to women in human trafficking. Today God totally steered me to look back on the past because how the heck can I doubt my God?! He has done everything I have asked for plus more. God has called me to this DTS and I know he make this last $1250 come in. 

So I would like to ask you please pray about supporting me on this trip. You can donate at YWAM Newcastle .