Holy Conviction

So last night our team was at a youth group for the third Friday in a row. The first Friday was a day we played games and hung out with the youth there as well as sharing testimonies about things like Gods provision in getting to Latvia and other things that had happened over DTS already. The second was speaking more about missions and the crazy things that have happened since we have been here as well as how missions is where ever you are, not just in a foreign country. I unfortunately didn't learn that when I was home, but I get that now. So last night was speaking to more youth as well as local youth leaders. So one of the girls on our team gave a word and we went on a prayer walk with them and had worship.

I did not know that I would ever miss worship so much! Most of the time when we have worship it has been our team leading it out. So even though I did not ever play on the worship band I would think about what we had to do next or how something had to go. It was such HUGE blessing to just worship and hear God and not worry about anything but spending time in worship with my father. So when I took the time to hear Him I feel like I instantly heard him. I was convicted by the parable of the talents in Matthew 26. It is when the master gives 5 talents to one servant, who doubles it, then 2 talents to another, who also doubles it, and one talent to the last. The last servant says in verse 24 "I knew that you are a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown...(v.25) So I was afraid and hid your talent in the ground. See, here is what belongs to you."

Then the master responds with "'You wicked, lazy servant! So you knew that I harvest where I have not sown and gather where I have not scattered seed... Take the talent from him and give it to the one who has the ten talents. For everyone who has will be given more, and he will have and abundance. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him. And throw that worthless servant outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth."

Latvia had been good to us. We can speak English with most people, have had our whole time just scheduled for us so we never struggle with what to do, and we do stuff like go to malls and coffee shops. Sometimes it feels like home but with more beautiful buildings. I feel like I have grown heaps with God personally and have such an amazing relationship with him now. I also feel like I have not pushed myself in ministry. I can go and just play with the kids and just go up say my piece and sit down.

God gave me the gift of eternal life, against what his nature says. He got to to my DTS, then to my outreach. Then I get here and I feel like its been successful because I haven't taken a sick day and pushed through some personal stuff, but avoided talking to people much. What a selfish lazy servant I have been. I hid my treasure for myself, just me and my best friend.

I came to Latvia to go on a mission trip, and to share Gods love and joy with people who need him. I think I have done that through works, but not by seeking them and loving them. Then they played "Hosanna"and that is my heart cry! Open my eyes to the things unseen, show me how to love like you love me, break my heart for what breaks yours. Hosanna, Hosanna, Hosanna in the highest! Hosanna means "save" and Lord do I need your grace and power to save me from myself.  I know I will have heaps of opportunities to be pushed when we are in Moldova, we leave Sunday night! The only ministry we have heard about is working with disables children and running some kind of seminar for single moms. I am super uncomfortable around a lot of kids... Weird I know but it's not my shin dig.

Thank you God for your grace! I am now aware of this and I want to please the Lord above all else.


In other news... I'm not good at transitions. Here is a LINK to a video update from our team in Latvia!