To My Friends

I leave for Australia in 2 days.

I am overwhelmed by sadness. I never thought this would be the way I would feel so close to leaving. I had imagined being elated, anxious, and nervous. But never sad.

The reason for my dejected mood? I LOVE what I am leaving behind, and I don't truly know what I am going to instead. For the first time in my life I love everything in my life. I have the best friends and community, a job that I enjoy going to, and not looking for God to change my life situation. I feel comfortable here.

There is a little quote from our pastor Matt Morgan that I always remember, "when you are comfortable you should feel uncomfortable." Uncomfortable in the way that finding that good enough place doesn't promote growth in Christ. Great theory for sure, and I never thought I would ever find issue in that at least not until I got a lot older. But as I prepare to leave in 55.5 hrs I hate that idea. I get overwhelmed thinking about seeing these people for the last time for half a year. If any of my friends read this, understand I may not cry tomorrow night because I just don't cry, but know I feel so much pain over leaving you. I have grown close to people who I never thought I would, and enjoy a job that I definitely never thought I would! I mean it's clothing retail in Boulder!!! But my time with you ladies there is so lighthearted and loving I do not want to leave you. I don't do mushy stuff too well, but I love you guys.

Dang it how weird can Gods timing seem at times. As long as I can remember I always was desperate for something to change, and right now I feel none of that urgency. Maybe it's  because I have been surrounded by your(my friends) love all the time with leaving so soon. But I'm sorry to keep dragging on about this, but I don't want to be out of your life for so long. I will keep in touch with you and I ask that you are intentional about keeping in touch with me. I know it is harder to remember because you are still in normal life, but I need you!

So I know I will be happy once I am in Australia, and I see why even with missing you guys so much why this is so right. I need that community behind me to feel ok living so abandoned for God.

I WILL keep you guys updated. See you tomorrow night.

I love you all so much

~Jessica